Pre-new year's reflection

Dear diary,

it's so not me to write down my new year's reflection in blog, but, since today i have nothing to do and i'm in a very 'sentimental' mood, thus there's this blog.

few days ago i chatted with a friend, usually it used to be a so ordinary topic that i forgot right after. but then, she asked me 'this year is full of new things for me: drinks, cigarettes, degree. how's yours?'. if i were in a classic thriller drama, i would suggest extra thunder and lightning struck above my head. point is: yes, i stopped typing (which used to be so easy) and thought. my! how's my year going? i don't even realize christmas is over and new year is just a few days ahead. and my year? i can't say it's my best. i haven't done anything valuable not to mention important. i haven't let out the best of me. i often let my outrage and hatred fill my emotion and boom... regret everything in the end.

regret. one word i hate the most. i swear to myself long time ago that i would NEVER regret a thing, cause everything has made myself me at present. but this year, i don't really like what i have formed myself into. i mean it. i'm losing my 'moxie' (amelia earheart in the Night at the Museum 2). the guy in the movie, Larry Daley, finally found his moxie by doing what he likes and being with the people he loves.

i kind of think the same way except sometimes i don't know if what i like is good for me and others; but the point about being with the people you love is totally true. this year (inspite of the regret thingy), thank God i got more chance to travel and explore the world in such a young age. travelling is one of the things i love the most. nevertheless, somehow i feel that doing what you like without the people you love (and the ones who love you) is just not enough. (ouch i just cut it there, it makes my homesick even worse)

well, bottom line is I MISS MY FAMILY, MY ROOM, MY FRIENDS, MY HOME!!!! no, that's not the real bottom line, that's just my real feeling ;p. bottom line of my pre-new year's reflection is: regardless where you are, what you like, and how you do the things you like; more important thing is --L-O-V-E--, cause only with that your happiness is complete. ;p

being able to go abroad and do things you like, that's cool.
being able to go somewhere with people you love, that's fun.
being able to go somewhere with people you love and people who love you, that's blessing.
being able to STAY with people you love and people who love you, that's eternal happiness. =) =D =) =D

God bless United States i.e. God bless US!!! haha.. amen

Missing you...

1 kesalahan kecil berakibat fatal...


19 maret 2009

sebelum les mandarin jm stg4, i lupa (tpatnya males sih) iket Perize aka Paris. pulang les tau2 ud ga ad. entah kemana... kmungkinan2: nyasar (0.001%), ketabrak mobil (0.00000000000000000000000000000000001%), dicolong orang (99%), lain2 (sisanya)sampe saat ini Paris masih dilaporkan hilang. satpam2 gerbang n keliling sudah dikonfirmasikan untuk membantu mencari n mengabari. tp masi blom ada tanda2 paris.hixhix..


Perize,帕丽丝(dulu namany gini bukan sih? lupa.haha)，i miss u so much!!!

Happy Good Friday!!!

barusan isi acara gereja bwt jumat agung aka good friday, gw dibikin byk ngerenung, mulai dr praise service (or whatever that's called) bareng rekan2pekerja ppw sampe ketika i selese kebaktian dan pulang ke rumah, dan diingetin lagi skrg pas i isi ni blog. sblm event nya lewat n i terlalu males bwt nulis, i tulis skrg deh.hehehe

i ngerasa klo jumat agung kali ini tuh beda dr taon2sblmnya. jauh lbih dpt maknanya. bukan krn jmt agung th ini i habiskan di gereja, bukan jg i habiskan latian nari bwt playanan, jg bukan i habiskan ama si dudutz... tp yg bikin beda adalah, semua proses (terutama2-4minggu terakhir) dan kejadian2yg i alami...

1. mulai dari hilangnya Paris (19 Mar 09). sungguh tak disangka kejadian itu bs tjd gtu aja.. bahkan sampe berminggu2 i masi 'terbuai' ato terbingung2, kok bisa ya... karena hal yg bgitu sepele bs tjd hal yg bgitu besar (at least bwt i, paris tu more than just a pet, 'she' is more like my most bestest fren ever!!! even she's like my own 'child' (coz she so likes to be spoiled, esp by me, and how she always tries to do 'tricks' e.g. roll, sit, sleep, shake, to get my attention and get affection)... oh how i miss her!!!! even now whenever i look at her pictures, i still can hardly believe that she's no longer mine... not here... not now... (ciee... dialognya titanic bgt y.hehe..). pokoke paris tu important bgt deh. sungguh2 penting that losing her is like losing part of me!!!!

2. tugas n test yg slalu datang tak kunjung slese (sampe si endy aja binun, ya ga??hahah... maap ya terabaikan n jd ikutan kena distressin.hahhaa..) mulai dr cb (consumer behaviour) individual assignment n mid test, accounting taxation quiz1 and midtest, plus yg paling parah adalah cib (comm in business) individual assgmt interim report yg duenya tgl 8april alias hari rabu kmrn. byuhhh!!! bnr2 tugas terstress spanjang sejarah perstudian i (dari tk ampe skrg tu yg paling byuhh bgt).

3. selagi sibuk2nya kuliah, waktu jg mepet bwt mempersiapkan koreo (aka. koreografi) bwt nari pas jmt agung. i couldnt miss this opportunity!!! nari bareng ci yolan (yg punya Clay Dance) n anak2 rock yg worshipnya yoi bgt, wuihh!!! it's really a great honour!! kalo latian yg padat si no prob, tp yg bikin bt nya adalah: tengterententennnnnnn.... hari selasa tgl 7april09, dimana nanti malemnya i bakal latian bareng bwt slesein gaya, n rabunya review (optional sih) trus kamisnya GR (Gladi Resik) n jumatnya perform, eh ada aja, pas lg mo pulang kul (sore2gtu, maybe jm stg7an) eh tau2 kaki i kepletek tanpa alasan yg cukup reasonable.ckckck... alhasil malemnya bner2latian dgn sengsara... rabunya jg mengistirahatkan kaki, ga ikut review bareng. kamisnya jg GR dtgnya jm stg3an lwt gtu (mustiny jm2)

nah dr smua kejadian tu yg mnurut i bner2 gila, krn klo dalam keadaan biasa2 n nyantai2 si ok2 aja, tp smua tuh kjadianny bnr2 tak terduga n tpat pada waktu yg tidak pas... misal: i lg bner2butuh kaki (bahkan krn kaki i mgg sebelumny jg sakit tnp alasan yg jelas jg, so sminggu ini i kuliah pun pake spatu bwt mnjaga kaki spy jgn ampe cidera lagi menjelang tampil ampe tmn2pd binun). iya lanjut, dr smua kjadian tu, i br dicelikkan matanya tadi... td pas doa2 gtu, ada nyemplok satu ayat, isinya kira2 gini:"berbahagialah mereka yg menderita ato dicobai gtu deh, karena mereka bs merasakan bagian penderitaan Tuhan".

i jg inget klo qt mo ikut Tuhan, qt harus rela menyangkal diri n meninggalkan smua yg kita sayang, di alkitab contohny lbih ekstrim: musti ninggalin sanak saudara.. nah loh... hahah...yg no.1 tadi i kehilangan paris, mgkn karena paris tu berharga bwt i, n Tuhan mo i menyangkal diri, dgn merelakan dy dipiara am org yg lbih ngurus n care ama dy, lbih py byk waktu bwt dia... (amen!!)

trus jg yg no.2 and 3.., esp yg no 3 coz tu bnr2menyiksa bgt n i sering bgt bertanya2:"knp si Tuhan? i kan mo melayani di jumat agung pula, perform yg lbih dr skedar perform biasa, tp knp ada aja halangannya??" sampe2 i mikir jangan2tujuan i menari salah so i dont deserve to dance for Him. wahhh... bner2 dah, tersiksa abizz!!!

nah tadi i dpt pencerahan, apalagi pas disupport dgn meliat video dr cuplikan film 'the Passion of the Christ' yg pas bagian Dia disalib n disiksa, n diadili. wuahhh... i bener2 ter-... ter apa ya?? tersadar gtu, wah, Tuhan aja menderita sgitu parah ga ngeluh, tu Dia menderita bwt aku loh, gara2 manusia2inilah Allah harus nge-relain AnakNya yg tunggal (mirip kan ama i merelakan Paris yg tunggal, ya ga ya ga??hehehhe..jk). masa i yg cuman segini aja mewek sih.. itulah yg nguatin i untuk terus maju n ikut latian (nekadz) biarpun kaki n fisik kurang mendukung (abis sembuh dr sakit bahkan masi suka keleyengan). sampe hr rabu malam pun kaki i mc diperban, mc blom bs lari n jinjit.

tp mujizat dahsyat tjd pas hari kamis, GR.pdhl i jalan masi agak tergopoh2, eh taunya pas sampe GAC (Gading Auto Centre) tempat bakal narinya hari jumat, eh lgsg semangat n tau2ud bs nari dgn normal (walo masi agak sakit2dikit sih).ckckck... emg dahsyat!!!! n hari jumatnya,i.e. hari ini, kami smua bs menari dgn baik, at least i've tried my best, n baru kali ini i bener2 memaknai lagu yg i tariin esp pas "dalamnya kasihMu Bapa" and "Worthy is the Lamb"... bahkan mujizat besar jg terjadi on the spot buat lagu worthy is the Lamb. kmrn qt gaya blom jadi sempurna, blocking jg kacao abis (si endy sbagai saksi.hehe) gaya blom pada apal.. tapi tadi pas nari... wuahhh kushuk, n wuoooaaahhh bgt!!! i pas liat rekamannya jg jadi "whoaaa.... keren abizzz!!! Thx God!!!" hahaha.... smoga aja tuh video bs diposting di facebook (tp ada 1 yg aib abizz!!ehehhee..smoga ga dipost) tp seneng banget, krn dari smua kejadian itu, i jd bs bner2memaknai makna pengorbanan Allah n Tuhan di jumat agung, yg biasanya i lalui dgn gtu2aja...hahahaha....


YEY!!! WE ALL ARE MORE THAN WINNERS!!!!!! praise d Lord and Happy Good Friday, feel Him and His sacrifice!!!

Setengah tahun sudah

ga kerasa uda stengah taon ngejalanin th 2009.. i must say this year is really a tough year. perhaps the toughest in my whole life.. so many things i've to go through, and all of them are so darn crazy and hard. whenever i remember those moments n things, i could almost feel the very bit of the hardwork in going through that moment. haahhh...

now the semester has ended, a new beginning for a new part of my life will soon start. dunno what wil happen next. so many things i've done wrong (definitely maybe... lolz) yet i stil have no idea how to fix them. i believe i could go crazy if only my God and fam were not there beside me to comfort and cherish me.. for that, i really thank them, esp my God!!

yepp.. nu life will soon begin.. maybe some things have ended, and they might not have ended up as good as i've imagined but i'm sure they will be alright soon. amen...

hyuhh.. so many things to tell, yet cant express my feelings, cant find perfect words to describe it. so tired.. arrghh!!..

Blog Update: Writing

Applying to reputable universities, writing CVs and resumes, making corporate reports, doing assignments and projects, answering final exam questions, and even creating attractive and easy-to-read blogs require excellent writing skills.

What is your impression when reading newspaper articles, columnist's journals, or even novels? "no idea, I only read the headings and look at the pictures", or "yea, understandable, the plot is good, so what?"

Hey, wake up, pals!! Try to make your own story, or at least write a page of whatever you want, if you do not end up just staring at that blank page for an hour or two. Just now I read a guide on 'Rules for Writers' the fifth edition, I must say that reading even less than twenty pages had made my eyes wide open of the complicated, intriguing zone a writer ought to face; starting from the planning (i.e. choosing and determining your topic, subtopics, target audience, and finding supporting documentations) to the drafting--the second part, which is, well, the furthest I could read so far. ouch...

Some of you might wonder why on earth I am reading such a book. Believe me, though, before I read an action-thriller novel written by 'the best selling novelist'--as the book quotes--and 3 pages to go to the end of chapter one, I have found myself nodding up and down sleeping, without even understanding what I have read (or should I say, stared?? hmm..). First factor, the novel is the continuation of previous 3 novels and I never read them; second, my very minimum English proficiency; or third, maybe I am not the correct target reader (read: the writing is just not suitable for me). Hence, pre-determining the target reader would heavily conclude the success of the writing.

I am not a big fan of thriller stories so reading such words as non-human, prey, and other nonsense made me bored and less interested. On the other hand, I have long wanting to enhance my writing skills thus reading that guidebook made me think of what I should do in the future to make my writing more well readable. But as a formula projects, 'theory-practice=0' then excessive theories must be balanced again with excessive practice. This is what triggers me to reactivate my long-hibernated blog (despite there is no winter time in Jakarta ;p).

As such, warm welcome to all existing and, hopefully, new readers!!! Nevertheless, I do not bother determining my target reader as I know perfectly clear that the loyal reader would be... ME; thus, I write the way I like, all the things that pass my brain, and this technique is called--FREE-WRITING (Hacker 2004). cheers ^^

Susahnya jadi ibu

Minggu lalu baru liat video REAL proses ibu melahirkan secara NORMAL. lgsg kepikiran porno?? wah Anda salah besar! emg si bagian bawahnya ibu itu keliatan, tp kesan mendalam yg lbih teringat (bahkan sampai skrg) adalah btapa ngerinya melahirkan!!! huaa... dr gimana tau2 muncul pala bayi trus susahny tu pala kuar, sampe suster musti dikit2 tarik tu kpala sambil diputer dikit trus pas uda kluar, ternyata tu bayi ga langsung nangis!! dah ada rambut pula.haha..

itu bayi baru nangis pas plasentanya dipotong trus diangkat ama suster, mgkn mo dibersihin.. i baru tau tyt potong plasenta jg ga asal potong aja, plasentanya musti ditahan gunting biar ga masuk lagi, knp? coz kalo ga ditahan, ada kmungkinan bakal masuk lg n bisa ngelilit jantung, yah inna li lahi (ga tau nulisnya..maap klo ad yg tersinggung) deh ibunya..

uda itu, yg bikin teramat serem adalah: darahnya banyak!!! wuaa!!!! huhu... ngeri bgt, bgitu byk cairan2 menggelikan n darah2 yg ngalir terus walo anaknya dah kuar.. kesiannya tu ibu.. (mgkn suatu saat i jg akan bgitu ya..huhu..) pantesan ya.. ada peribahasa kasih ibu spanjang masa.. gimana ga, wong harus pertaruhin nyawa demi melahirkan.. pantesan juga byk org yg gamo punya anak ato mo jalan pintas operasi caesar. recalling my mom who has experienced it TWICE, hmm.. i really appreciate her the most!! thx mom!!

New Lophe

Akhirnya kebikin juga blog baru ini. krn banyak hal dan byk faktor yg terjadi dlm kehidupan i, so i named this blog after those NEW experiences in the NEW year where i start my NEW life, so that makes it 'New Lophe'.eheheheee..

hmm.. seharusnya si i menjelaskan segala features yang ada di blog ini yah, tp berhubung connection yang ala kadarnya, featuresnya sendiri pun blom diupdate. tp yg jelas i akan introduce beberapa features yg cukup berguna n mgkn beberapa orang ga ngerti.hehe... salah satunya adalah Link (ga tau jg nanti bakal dinamain apa). disini bakal dimasukkin link2 website yg sering i pake, misalnya: facebook (fb), friendster(fs) (moga2 bs langsung ke-direct ke account i), trus blog si spaces jg yg mengungkap kisah dan fakta masa lalu yg dikupas tajam setajam... silet. wakakaa.. ada2 aja infotainment zaman skrg.haha.. lanjut, ada lagi yg mungkin kurang familiar, yakni PICASA. ini web tuh berguna buat simpen n share photo video dkk. so, bykn klo ad foto2 baru, versi lengkapnya ya i upload di picasa ini, bukan di fb apalagi fs. soale klo d fb tuh ya klo org upload fotonya, resolutionnya jd berkurang (krn ud disesuain sndiri ama fb nya kan) so klo di save/donlod ama org laen yg kebetulan berminat donlod karena fotonya ada disitu, ya jd kurang bagus. gtu loh mnrt i.ga tw bnr ga.haha..

gtu aja deh kyny... oiya sama mgkn di blog baru ini, hmm.. apanya ya yg baru?? haha.. mgkn bakal sering ditambain artikel2 penambah wawasan drpd cuman cuap2 i yg ga jelas (tp tau lah kadar sering nya i. 1bln blom tentu skali.haha..) trus jg i mo latian berbahasa asing, so jgn kaget n norak y klo liat entry yg berbahasa aneh.keke... gtu aja lah...


Peace n Lophe,

^^Lophe^^